The Perfect SeriousFace Playlist

Is your life a film? You may aswell assume it is – a poorly written one at that – and that the reason you’re undergoing any hardships right now is simply because you’re going through the plot’s ‘crisis,’ and sooner or later things are going to pick up, depending on how depressed the scriptwriter was when he came up with this particularly dull storyline. Anyway, if you decide to go along with this mind-set, I have the perfect musical accompaniment for you in the form of the ultimate SeriousFace playlist. You only really need it for times of deep depression, as once you’re feeling fine again you’ll forget why you even bothered with the whole film business in the first place! So here we have it, each track tailored for a different moment when your facial muscles need a workout soundtrack.

The Airborne Toxic Event – Sometime Around Midnight

Kanye West – Christian Dior Denim Flow

If you read my previous post about single life, you will have noticed my advice on how to treat parties; looking grievously unimpressed, not dancing at all, occasionally burdening some wkd-carrying girl with a look of pure disdain: the whole works. Well this track is for if you’re really going for it (ie: you’re actually serious, God help you) and choose to shun all conversation and simply listen to your iPod. These are ideal for the act of casting dejected looks over at someone who used to love you, as you pour disgusting cheap lager down your throat.

The Twilight Sad – I Became a Prostitute

Frightened Rabbit – The Modern Leper

Once you’ve become drunk beyond recognition and accused someone you hardly know of something awful, before retching up the contents of your stomach all over the floor, these two songs above are perfect for staggering out of the door and down the dark street towards the train station, as the rain pounds down on your scalp and you desperately tug away at a lone cigarette which for some reason you have completely forgotten how to smoke. It would seem that a thick Scottish accent is necessary to achieve this affect, no idea why.

Mirrors – Into the Heart

Cold Cave – The Great Pan Is Dead

Bright Light Bright Light – How To Make a Heart

The Gaslight Anthem – We Did It When We Were Young

The first three are criminally ignored optimistic modern synth-pop anthems, which have the perfect euphoric feel to them to go with any moment of simple, fragile hope, whilst  TGA and Arcade Fire provides the guitar-driven alternatives.

Summer Camp – I Want You

Breakage – Speechless

God knows how many times a tired, alcoholic screenwriter has burst late into a conference, clutching a hastily written script for a film under the genre of ‘teen angst’ fully aware of how awful what he has created is, but it seems that majority of these scripts have ended up as genuinely successful films. Anyway, if you’re living inside one, then you’ll need these songs; they’re both musically exhilarating, but each have one foot firmly in the realm of teen-drama (Daniel was written about the star of “Karate Kid” by a teenage Bat For Lashes, whilst Summer Camp’s entire album is based around characters from 90s tv shows such as “My So-Called Life”) making them perfect for thinking about that girl that you’ve never talked to, but is just so perfect and beautiful tha- OH GOD JUST END IT NOW.

Hans Zimmer – Time

It could be argued that I’m slightly cheating here, as this is actually a track from the soundtrack of the film Inception, but it could also be argued that arguing about the rules of playlist-making is pretty much pointless.  This song’s nature as an instrumental yet still vastly emotional song makes it perfect for sitting alone, remembering times of happiness, as a lone tear makes its way down your bruised face.

Earl Sweatshirt – Earl

Finally, these last two songs merit a place of the SeriousFace Playlist, because of how downright reckless and aggressive they are, setting them up perfectly for any moment of unadulterated grumpiness.